My story with Black Veil Brides began less than a year ago, but it’s best I start at the beginning.
My name is Becky Fulford. I was born May 19, 1998, after my mother constantly being told she could never be pregnant again after my older brother, and after the doctors suggested she terminate the pregnancy. I was supposed to be down syndrome. Hell, I wasn’t supposed to exist. But I’m here, and the universe has made it very clear that they can’t stand it.
When I was four years old, I was molested by my father’s cousin. That same year, my father became extremely ill and was confined to bed for the rest of his life, which ended when I was ten and a half years old. I had had to take care of him all my life, never having a childhood, not even allowed to leave the house except to go to school, which was pure hell. I was overweight, tall for my age, wore glasses, basically everything that could possibly cause me to be made fun of.
After my father’s death, my mom and I were torn apart. She abused me, emotionally, mentally, verbally, and physically. She would tell me how worthless, useless, fat, ugly, and stupid I was. “Stupid” was the only one I never believed no matter who said it. She’d beat me and burn me with cigarettes. The stress of all this caused me to drastically lose weight, combined with self starvation and constantly running from my mother and everyone else.
School never got much better. The kids constantly make fun of me, especially since I’m bisexual and according to them, I fit the “emo” stereotype. In 8th grade, my “friend” tore my shirt off in front of three of my best guy friends and the guy I liked because she was jealous of the fact that I developed so much faster than her. Some guys from the football team were always hitting on me, threatening to rape me, doing everything they could to embarrass me, make me uncomfortable, all of that. I had finally gotten some confidence and self respect when I dated the most hated guy in school, trying to give him a chance and show people he wasn’t so bad, and he tried to rape me.
I’ve been self harming for the past three years. There are still scars on my arm. What stopped me from something so terrible? Black Veil Brides. Their music related to me so well, gave me so much hope. I could go on and on about everything that’s wrong in my life, as I’ve only given you a taste, but the bottom line is, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for these wonderful men. I wish I could properly express to them just how thankful I am.